A man walks in to a bar with his pet baboon. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the baboon jumps all around the place. The baboon grabs some peanuts off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth and, to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the man "Did you see what your baboon did?" The man says "No what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me" replied the man "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything." The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the baboon ate and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet baboon is with him. He orders a drink and the baboon starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds an olive on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your baboon did now?" he asks. "No what?" replied the man. "Well, he stuck an olive up his ass, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the man. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."