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Coming to America

It's a significant change. OMO BOY realizes as he enters New York for the first time.

He realizes he was no longer in Ketu when... he bought cigarettes and didn't have to pay extra for matches.

His cigarette box had some kind of scribbling on it by some guy who calls himself the Surgeon General! (never that in Naija!) He sent his 10 year old son to go buy him some liquor..he returns in the back seat of a squad car and he's about to get arrested! (very legal in Naija!)

He goes to the bus stop and observes the difference between METRO and LMTS-NO RUSHING! he gets on the bus and found out he has to pay first before sitting down!..

(I guess "MY BRODA GO PAY YOU FOR BACK" or "I BE STAFF" would not work here) staff koo, cane ni! His sister claimed she could actually freely walk the streets without someone calling out different names trying to guess hers just so they can talk to her!

He wondered what everyone was staring at in a restaurant simply because he chooses not to use cutlery! ("DEM NEFA SEE WHERE MAN DEY USE HAND CHOP BEFORE?")

...uuummm, not when it comes to rice, my friend! He realized he could not order food in a cafeteria and ask for 'jara'! He went shopping and could actually inspect the merchandise without buying it! (till today, he still half expects to hear that ever so familiar "OGA ; YOU DEY BLOCK MY STALL O! IF YOU NO DEY BUY, GERRROUT OF MY STORE!")

It dawned on him that his wife, Bintu, can put an innovation called the stroller to her advantage - she doesn't have to haul the kid about on her back anymore! (I know it's comfy guys, but it's rather embarrassing after the kid has had passed quite a bit of fanta through his system!) He boards the bus and no one is advertising anything verbally!

All the ads are in cardboard! (remember the guys that try to sell you the magic pill that'll cure everything from iba and ara-riro (fever and rheumatism) to ofinkin and lakuregbe! (the common cold and whatever lakuregbe is..don't know, and not planning on finding out!)

He woke up in the morning without the usual "ALLAH WAQBAH!" blasting out of 15 super-amplified loudspeakers belonging to 4 different mosques at 5 a.m in the morning!

Hey, he could always start his prayers after Jerry Springer is off the air! He saw the police detaining a shoplifter and wondered why no one is getting tyre and petrol he saw somebody cut somebody else off in traffic and all that came out of the driver's window was just one finger instead of all five!

...and finally..he got sued for assault when he slapped the other driver after a fender bender!
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