- I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby, 1977
- When you become senile, you won't know it. - Bill Cosby, 1987
- There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. - Bill Cosby, 1978
- Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die. - Bill Cosby, Fatherhood 1986
- Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. - Bill Cosby, 1986
- The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet. - Bill Cosby, 1986
- Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. - Bill Cosby, Time Flies 1987
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